Katabooty's Blog

If want to see my new obsession, check out Building Rome in a Day.  I fucking love these boys to death.  They are super talented and its just a matter of time until they blow and they are gonna straight do their thang. no fucking joke!

http://www.myspace.com/buildingromeinaday

 

click here. leave them a comment saying Katie(aka i have an addiction)  told you to listen to them.   

 

ps. tell me what you guys think about them also.  

they are my lovers so be nice! 

Seriously, go check out the new P!ATD video for "But it's better if you do".  I fucking love those guys guys. They are some of the most talented artists out right now.  Not to mention that this is only their 2nd video ever and it is phenomenal! I'm in love!

You can see the video at    www.friendsorenemies.com

 

 

So I saw Nine inch Nails in concert a few days ago..  and let me say it .. amazing!!  despite the fact we almost got in to like 35 fights throughout the show, it was freakin astonishing!  Not to mention the fact that when Trent reznor jumped into the crowd he ended up dead in front of me and looked dead at me and reached his hand down to me and let me hold the mic!! We totally had a moment. I was like i was reaching for the light!  one of the best shows i've seen! they sound rediculously amazing live! and not to mention the fact that trent gets hotter and hotter every year!

It sucks so much to want someone, that you know you shouldn't want.  It just seems so right though in the back of your mind there's a little voice saying, "katie, no." Feelings are so confusing. I mean one minute you feel one thing, and next... who knows.?...   It might be indecisiveness, confusion, of just plain stupidity.  It just feels so good to act on feelings.  I don't know if i'm the only one who feels like this ever.. That's probably why i'm writing this journal right now. . . cause i can't say any of these thoughts to anyone else!

The other thing is how much  people can surprise you. . and i don't necessarily mean that is a good way.  I have finally decided on a way to describe my father. . . "a brilliant piece of art work."  I have never seen a man that is more of a liar nor a piece of shit than my father.  Cuss words can't even describe what kind of person he is.  I've given up on tring to decide what words to use to try and describe him.  I now, just let the words flow out.  How fake people can be and how they can straight up lie to your face makes me sick to my stomach.  . . Recently it has almost made me immobile. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything besides what my dad is doing to me, my love(aka my mommy), and my sisters.  How someone can be so careless with others lives and emotions/feelings never ceases to amaze me.  How my father can choose a skanky, nasty ass stripper over his family, (that respected and loved him till the end), over and over again almost makes me go into a coma, just so i can block out the reality of the situation i have been forced into by the horrible decisions i am required to be around 24/7.  To be forced to watch the negative affects thise situation has on my mother, due to the fact this is the only man she has ever been with, sickens me to no end.  People are so insensitive, and can be so oblivious to others feelings, it constantly makes me ask the questions, "why even stay here and watch the self-destructiveness of the others around me"  But i can't watch my mother fall to pieces as my dad gets and pays for his kicks as my mother destroys herself.  i will not sit back on watch this happen.  I will not let the only person i know and love ruin herself over someone else's faults and bad decisions.  I will make him pay for every lie and sin he has ever commited. and this woman will pay ten fold.  she told my dad she thought i was cr azy .. wait until she finds out what i have in store for her now!

Soo... as much as I listen to fall out boy ,.. i wish i wasn't listening to them rightnow!  i  just need to chill and find myself a new! but you see they never meant a thing to me .. she never meant a thing to me! i'm growing up!! you  know to think about the times when you were younger. ... the shit you did seem fuckin rediculous.. but shit u did after the fact seems even more rediculous!  but you know.. what are you gonna do??..  not a damn thang. .. . . i s till love the one person i know not too. but i just can't quit him ... something about   how he speaks to me ... makes me to give in to him like no one else. .. . i know i should get away .. but i'm frozen... i guess everyone needs pain... but mine is on a more addictive letter.. i'm addicted to the pain .... i can't go on with out feelin what he put me thru. to feel how  someone wants you much more thru pain ... than anything else.. will give the most diff. hight than  you have ever felt. . . .i need for real distance... i need actual cubic fe et   between us.... to make this real.

if you still want me after thia distance .. than i know this is actually more real than i assume... but no one will read this but me... and only i will think this is more real than reality .. and once again ... love will tear us apart again .